Am I Gay?

This is a wonderful question to ask yourself, and one you should never feel shame about asking. For me — I am not gay. I am an agender pansexual white person, but for since I was in the 3rd grade… I thought I was gay. Why? A girl in the bus line called me a “dyke” and I asked my siblings what that meant. They said, “That means you like girls, and that’s gross.”

I was like… damn… I’ve never liked anyone. I guess I like girls…

No. I just never knew how to stand up for myself. I have never refuted a comment made about me. I just accepted it and made it a part of who I am. You do not have to be what other people say about you. You know you. No one else knows you.

I have been openly queer, trans, nonbinary, gender-fluid. I’m not a detransitioner. I just was… trying to find myself, but when you are in a blackout state for so long, so hard… You have no idea who you are.

If you have been saying that you are queer/bisexual/”unfortunately I like men” (but you’re married to a man… or you’ve never actually done anything with a girl) — this section is for you.